Children Make Me Laugh.... And They Grow Up Too Fast

Last night my son called to share one of those funny stories that parents and grandparents live for. He said "Mom, Andrew just pulled a Christian on me." I thought oh God! What has he done? Instead it was one of those educational moments that only happens once in a lifetime that is simply heart warming.

Andrew to his dad, in his all knowing six year old stance:
"Dad, it is NOT War War Two, it is World War Two."

Christian said he was trying his best not to laugh at Andrew's new realization because he remembered the time when he was about four or five, just learning to read. We were driving home in Oak Hill and he saw the sign that we had passed many, many times that read "Oak Hill."

Christian said to me in his five year old surprised voice: "Mom, it's not "Oh Kill, it's Oak Hill."

It took all I had not to laugh. It only stood to reason that Christian would think it was called "Oh Kill." It was in the mid 80's and he and Adriane spent a year driving around with me in the "Oak Hill" area looking for a place to build our dream home. Convict Hill was my first choice since it was on the edge of town, high on the hill. Bt there were scary rumors of long ago, when prisoners, with their ankles hobbled by heavy chains and iron balls. The prisoners cut stone for the Capitol Building that was being built in Austin. Some men died on the site. There were stories of prisoners being buried in shallow graves on that hill. Hence the name "Convict Hill." I don't know why I would scare my 5 year old with that story but needless to say, we decided to buy land further out off of Circle Drive.

When Dylan was about five years old, he realized that we were all saying "remember" and not "renember" and was upset that nobody had bothered to correct him. It is just one of those things that you hold on to for as long as you can, because learning how to say words correctly is just another step in them growing up and moving on with their life.

Dylan is turning 17 in 9 days and talking about going away to school. They grow up and learn how to talk way too fast!

Time flies when you're having fun.

Why I Create

Oprah always says that everyone just wants to be heard or validated. True, very true. Being the youngest of 4 children most of my life (I had a younger brother for 4 years in elementary school who passed away) I never felt like I was heard unless I was upset and crying. Since that was my childhood experience, as I saw it, regardless of the fact that my older sister thought I was spoiled rotten, it seems that I have found myself in situations where I didn't feel validated. I just realized this morning, while working on my "Soul Sessions" class that it is a deep rooted thought. It is sort of an all or nothing thing for me. You are either with me or against me and there is no sitting on the fence, however I seem to have that repeat pattern of attracting the least emotional available men on the planet.

So when someone comes to my house and stands in awe of my art that covers every inch of my house, including my mosaic floors, I realize that is WHY I create. I became creative to get attention. Always thinking outside the box to stand out from the crowd and be noticed.

My family was always wrapped up in my brother's activities like football when I was growing up. Later he became a Grammy Award winning musician and still my parents followed him around the country going to his concerts. These day he is in awe of how far I have come as a designer and a fine artist, but I still seem to attract those that can still ignore my talent. Why? Exactly!  Why? That is the question.

Sometimes I forget who I am.  I have been running with a group of musicians most of my adult life so I normally fall into the background of the their musician talk. Since October I have spent much more time alone reflecting on who I am, what I want and how to get there. This week at Evangeline, I noticed a difference in the way it felt to sit quietly and listen to Danny and Tony talk about $45 guitar picks. Not as willing to just sit quietly and listen. Now that I am no longer the band girlfriend, sitting around and being supportive isn't very appealing. I have art to create!

So this weekend Kathy, John and Tammy were here from Dallas. Kathy had been to my house a million times so she was giddy at the thought of having her brother John and his girlfriend hang out with us at Donn's Depot on Saturday and come to my studio on Sunday. Donn's was fun. I introduced them to all my marvelous musician friends and they totally get music because their dad was a bass player in Dallas when they were growing up. But even more importantly, John is a creative soul, an artist. He gets who I am and what I do. He walked in my front door and his jaw dropped. He stood for 15 minutes looking at my mosaic tile bathroom floor with a dragonfly on it. He stood in my studio and examined every inch of crowded studio space. Kathy emailed me later and said that Tammy was so inspired that she is going to start doing mosaic again. Now that is what I am talking about! Someone gets my creative process!

I spend all day every day alone in my thoughts in my studio. It warms my heart to know that I feed the souls of others with my art. Friday night I was at Antone's, my niece, Cayce' band was playing. Her older brother, Derek, told me that he had a very cool experience this week. He was sitting in the Thundercloud on South Lamar at Manchaca, looked up and noticed my art surrounding him on every wall. He said he sat for a while and just listened to customers comment and said at one time he felt the urge to stand up and say "My aunt is the artist!"  How cool is that?  I have often heard it said by musicians that it is hardest to play for family and friends. Being an artist is the same. The people closest to you seem to have a notion of who you are that doesn't vary much. Being able to paint it on a canvas shines a whole new light on one's soul. Derek said to me "Those painting really come from a really emotional place don't they?" My answer to that is "Yes they do. I have paid my dues to get those images onto canvas. There is a story behind each of my "Luna Chicks" a broken heart, many tears and lots of dreams good and bad... emotion... raw unadulterated emotion.

Blessings In My Life.... Family and Friends

I was in a serious funk yesterday afternoon, I thought I had reason to be. Then I turned on the TV and it was as if an angel had entered my living room saying exactly what I needed to hear. Maya Angelou was on Oprah's "Master Class" saying that everyone has clouds in their lives. Big ones, small ones, dark ones but no matter what, you can go through the clouds, you can go over the clouds, you can go around the clouds... the key is to SEE the rainbows in the clouds.

Clouds
By Christian Ethridge

And...you have to be the rainbow for others. It reminded me of when Phillip was in the hospital, in a 36 hour coma.  Christian, Carrie and Andrew saw a double rainbow that ended directly over the hospital when they were driving to see him. That rainbow gave them hope.

It feels like this week has been a whirlwind of blessings, lessons and reality checks. There were clouds and there were rainbows. I took two trips to San Antonio to see Christian with Carrie and Andrew. I felt totally blessed to bask in the love that flows when the three of them are together.

I slept in a puppy pile in my bed for three nights with Andrew, Carrie and my new cat Katie, waking up to watch the likes of "Dino Dan" and remembering that I have as much to learn from a well written children's show as Andrew does. Christian reminded me to tell Andrew about God and light before he fell asleep because those are the childhood memories he hold on to.

Then there was the big night at the Broken Spoke on Tuesday for the Don Walser reunion. Surrounded by friends and family that have been part of my life for as long as I can remember to the ones that got here as soon as they could. There were several reality checks that night. Reminders that we are all in this together and only as strong as our weakest link. Danny and Rene stopped to pick up batteries for Winker's camera. John Arthur Martinez thanked me for my Facebook commentary because I say what he thinks and can't say due to a conservative following. John Chandler stayed to help Phillip load his drums out because Phillip's shoulder was hurting.  Winker took world class photos of Derek making memories with Taron, the son he misses dearly, on his visit from Australia. Gurf sang "Mom and Dad Waltz" reminding me that I danced my last dance with my dad on the Broken Spoke dance floor to the music of Don Walser. All of this and more made me realize that there is love and support there that I have lost sight of for a time.

Thursday evening, while driving down South Lamar, Andrew noticed that there was a new Amy's Ice Cream by his old house with a brand new playground. On the coldest evening of the year he wanted to go check it out, so we did. A corn dog, a dip of ice cream and a run through the playground later, he was a happy camper. Yesterday I had a wonderful lunch with Beth at South Congress Cafe.  Over a salad and a latte, I felt heard, loved and supported. Last night I went to see "The Preservation" at the Continental with Nita and Heather. I realized the honor in passing the torch to a new generation when I saw Camille, Paige and Katie there in support of the band. Cayce confided in us how scary it is to sing before a huge crowd but even more so for family and friends. She feels the cloud of fear and goes through it and wah-lah...on the other side is a rainbow! How cool is that? I realized that not only are they are the rainbows in my cloud but I am the rainbow in theirs, after all, the band members call me Aunt CiCi! A badge I wear with honor!

My lesson being .... there is only magic in an ice cream cone when you share it with someone you love. There is only magic in the music when the music serves to bring people together to create the rainbows.

Last night, as I was being dropped off at my front door, Heather reminded me of how blessed she feels to have married into our beautiful, loving family. I came in my house and sat down to a hot cup of tea to reflect on all the rainbows in my clouds. I was in a dark cloud for a moment.... but the rainbow appeared.

Today I am going to pick up my dear grandson, Dylan, we are going to see Christian and then meeting up with Adriane and Chris to go see "The Preservation" at Gruene Hall. They don't know it yet, but we are going to create rainbows. I have been watching my son go through the biggest, darkest clouds of his life and I have to say, he is moving through those clouds with flying colors.

I just want my family to know how very blessed I feel and I count you as my rainbows.

I love you very, very much. I pray that I am a rainbow in your life.