Saturday, November 3, 2007

Wow! Where did the summer go?

Okay... the last you heard, in March, I no longer had a job. The job of 15 years at the newspaper as a graphic designer. I think I mentioned that I quit... actually that is what I thought I was going to do. I had just had my annual review by someone that I had never even worked on a project with and I decided it was time to exit stage left. Besides. SXSW was going on. What better time to just be rid of my job so I could go out all day every day and night to hear music. First stop, Opal Divine's on South Congress. It was 3 in the afternoon and there I was. Of coarse the questions began. "What are you doing here at 3 in the afternoon, you have a job!" "Uh, no I don't. I think I just quit." I told all my friends that I had walked away from my job. I remember the look on Jimmy LaFave's face asking if I was sad and did I cry when I drove away. I said. No. It was a weight off of my shoulders. I didn't have a plan but it felt good.

That evening I went home and Dan, the intellectual boyfriend suggested I not quit, having worked with the Ray Marshall Center of Human Resources at UT for 15 years he wanted to examine the situation. So, he suggested going back to work the next day. Then I got fired. That was such a blessing on so many levels. I really have some serious angels watching out for me. I thought I loved my corner office with the view enough to make it work. I thought I loved my boyfriend enough to make that work. Both my employer and boyfriend decided differently and now, 8 months later, I thank God that they made those decisions for me because I would have continued in both situations and neither were healthy. Both situations were toxic. The powers that be at the Statesman came in and moved all the creative designers out of our wonderful little haven in the corner office where we were able to brain storm, we had a view of the Austin skyline and room to breathe. They purposely moved us into the middle of the Marketing department with 5 foot dividers between us. That's right our own little cubicles. I remember the first morning in our little cubicles James, who was once the head designer, sent an email to all of the designers that said "Do you feel like we have been divided and conquered?" That was exactly what it felt like. I could no longer look over and see his cute freckled face or Sueanne either laughing or crying while reading her screen. I had my own little purple corner decorated with a trickling water feature and photos of all my favorite people. People from all over the building would come and hide in my corner of the Universe through out the day just to feel peaceful.

That was all good but I had been in constant physical pain for about 7 years, knowing all the while that if I didn't have to go to this office every day and market something that I totally didn't believe in that I wouldn't have to hold all that pain in my body. But there was no easy way out. It was insane. But... my angels were looking out for me as usual and took care of all the details. I love that about my life. So... check it out. There went the job. I have another huge complicated situation in my life that I am not sure what to do about. that was in March. Okay... then meanwhile ... the boyfriend Dan was making plans of his own. I was thinking "Cool, I no longer have a job, we can travel. He was thinking. "I have to get rid of the girlfriend who no longer has benefits. Not to speak of the ex-girlfriend he was becoming close to again. Then in May, Dan and I broke up, that would have been on my birthday. So... I just poured all that energy into a film project with the hormones and made a hell-of-a-film project titled "The Running Of The Bulls" a tribute to all the Taurus ladies in the group and Willie of coarse. He made an appearance in the film as well. I put my house at the lake on the market and it sold within the first week in a dead market. Wow! I went to St Louis for a couple of weeks for a visit with my son, his fiance and grandson. Came home and my best friend from high school, Shirley, came to visit from Albuquerque. That was fun! Did I say that Dan and I broke up? Yeah but he was still hanging around. Then I packed up all my stuff and moved it into storage and moved in with Nita for a little while. Planned a trip to Hawaii and then decided to completely put the brakes on the relationship with Dan. Went to Hawaii and had a fabulous time, got a whole new perspective on life came home and here I am. I am going to look for my own place to live this week. I'll write more later.