Almost five years ago, in March, I was ready for a change in my life. I put my lake house on the market, it sold to the first real estate agent that looked at it. I was trying to gracefully walk away from a job at the newspaper that I had for 15 years and still be able to pay my bills. Magically, they offered me a package and I was able to begin my dream life as a freelance artist. As if selling my house and quieting my 8-5 job weren't enough for bitter sweet endings, in May my relationship with Dan ended and my 12 year old cat, Layla died. As we do when we go through life changes, I was searching for answers to all of life's questions.
|My garage apartment in Spicewood|
When I returned to Austin, I was staying with my sister, Nita for a short while. She and I had been at out friend Lana's southwest of Austin. It must have been November by this time. We ran into George entering the electric gate as we were leaving. He was ecstatic, he had magically gone from driving a truck to purchasing a Mercedes that he converted to bio-diesel, he had a new lap-top computer and a lap dog. I jokingly said to him "Now all you need is a lap dance George, what the heck happened?" He reminded me that he had been reading "The Secret" and guess what, not long after that, he located a high school sweetheart on facebook and they got married!
About a month later we were having a "Hormone Weekend" at Lana's and all the girls were spending the weekend at the ranch. We went to a party at my friend Pam's house. Lana went home early. Bored. Too many musicians I suppose. I stayed and Wahlah! like magic, that night I manifested exactly what I had envisioned. A musician who, like a gentleman, walked me to my car and kissed me good night. Wish granted! As I drove out 290 West to the ranch, with his business card in hand, I felt like a cat bringing home a mouse to show my girlfriends. On our first date he walked in my house and saw a painting I had been working on that day and with a surprised look on his face he said "I will be right back." He went to his car and got a copy of his CD. The painting I was working on looked exactly like the front of his CD cover.
For about a year I was totally amazed that "The Secret" had worked such magic in my life. Endless nights out on the town being wined and dined, listening to great music and dancing. Then reality started to sink in when on occasion we had dinner with married friends who talked of plans they were making together. Gardening, house repairs, vacations. I too had big plans swimming around in my head yet he would sit there never saying a word. It slowly started to sink in, I had been granted exactly what I had asked for, nothing more. A musician with his own band, a house and a car. He had no intention of settling down and was just along for the ride. Our relationship lasted exactly 4 years. I had one year of total ignorant bliss, two years of thinking I could change it and one more year knowing it would never change but still hoped I could live that way. I had fallen for his well practiced facade. Yes, he had his own band but the band members change constantly because of his lack of loyalty. To anyone. He owns a house but it's not a home because he shares it with no one. Nights out on the town and brunch in the morning was all he had to offer.
|George, Victoria and Christina|
|Michael, Kate, Christina, René and Carole|
That night after we returned from Fredericksburg, René decided to read one of the books that she had purchased at the Goodwill, a copy of "The Secret." When she bought it she noticed a Joe Ely backstage pass on the inside front cover and thought how cool it was that the previous owner it liked the same music she did. When she opened the book in bed a boarding pass from Honolulu, Hawaii to Austin fell out. On the boarding pass she read "Christina Fajardo" and then a baggage claim pass fell out that said "Christina Fajardo." She yelled out "Oh My God!" Danny, with a toothbrush in his mouth comes around the corner and says "What's wrong?" She said "I have to call Christina!" It was 11 pm. She called me immediately. I was talking to Sarah Elizabeth on the phone and said "Something must be wrong, I will call you back, René is calling." When she told me, I was in shock I kept saying "But René, I don't even know how my copy of "The Secret" got to Goodwill. I never would have gotten rid of that book!" It wasn't until the next day when I told my sister, Nita the story and she suggested that I left it at Tony's and he took it to Goodwill. Well, doesn't that makes it that much more magical that my copy of "The Secret" found it's way back to me?
|Listen To The Whispers "Luna Chick"|
Really? WHY with all my self examination, reading every self help book on the market, watching Oprah every day, would I attract painfully, dysfunctional relationships? I know that most of the time we enter relationships for one reason and we usually end up learning something totally unexpected. I have to admit I did manifest exactly what I asked for, as shallow as that wish was. Silly me. I assumed that just because someone has their own band, a car and a house that they worked for it would know the value of team work and integrity. After all, I had worked hard to become a freelance artist and I worked hard to own all of the houses and cars that I have had in my 50 some odd years. Even Willie, my hero had been a pig farmer.
|May 20 eclipse in Santa Rosa New Mexico|
To comment on this blog click on "Comments"