I was in a serious funk yesterday afternoon, I thought I had reason to be. Then I turned on the TV and it was as if an angel had entered my living room saying exactly what I needed to hear. Maya Angelou was on Oprah's "Master Class" saying that everyone has clouds in their lives. Big ones, small ones, dark ones but no matter what, you can go through the clouds, you can go over the clouds, you can go around the clouds... the key is to SEE the rainbows in the clouds.
And...you have to be the rainbow for others. It reminded me of when Phillip was in the hospital, in a 36 hour coma. Christian, Carrie and Andrew saw a double rainbow that ended directly over the hospital when they were driving to see him. That rainbow gave them hope.
It feels like this week has been a whirlwind of blessings, lessons and reality checks. There were clouds and there were rainbows. I took two trips to San Antonio to see Christian with Carrie and Andrew. I felt totally blessed to bask in the love that flows when the three of them are together.
I slept in a puppy pile in my bed for three nights with Andrew, Carrie and my new cat Katie, waking up to watch the likes of "Dino Dan" and remembering that I have as much to learn from a well written children's show as Andrew does. Christian reminded me to tell Andrew about God and light before he fell asleep because those are the childhood memories he hold on to.
Then there was the big night at the Broken Spoke on Tuesday for the Don Walser reunion. Surrounded by friends and family that have been part of my life for as long as I can remember to the ones that got here as soon as they could. There were several reality checks that night. Reminders that we are all in this together and only as strong as our weakest link. Danny and Rene stopped to pick up batteries for Winker's camera. John Arthur Martinez thanked me for my Facebook commentary because I say what he thinks and can't say due to a conservative following. John Chandler stayed to help Phillip load his drums out because Phillip's shoulder was hurting. Winker took world class photos of Derek making memories with Taron, the son he misses dearly, on his visit from Australia. Gurf sang "Mom and Dad Waltz" reminding me that I danced my last dance with my dad on the Broken Spoke dance floor to the music of Don Walser. All of this and more made me realize that there is love and support there that I have lost sight of for a time.
Thursday evening, while driving down South Lamar, Andrew noticed that there was a new Amy's Ice Cream by his old house with a brand new playground. On the coldest evening of the year he wanted to go check it out, so we did. A corn dog, a dip of ice cream and a run through the playground later, he was a happy camper. Yesterday I had a wonderful lunch with Beth at South Congress Cafe. Over a salad and a latte, I felt heard, loved and supported. Last night I went to see "The Preservation" at the Continental with Nita and Heather. I realized the honor in passing the torch to a new generation when I saw Camille, Paige and Katie there in support of the band. Cayce confided in us how scary it is to sing before a huge crowd but even more so for family and friends. She feels the cloud of fear and goes through it and wah-lah...on the other side is a rainbow! How cool is that? I realized that not only are they are the rainbows in my cloud but I am the rainbow in theirs, after all, the band members call me Aunt CiCi! A badge I wear with honor!
My lesson being .... there is only magic in an ice cream cone when you share it with someone you love. There is only magic in the music when the music serves to bring people together to create the rainbows.
Last night, as I was being dropped off at my front door, Heather reminded me of how blessed she feels to have married into our beautiful, loving family. I came in my house and sat down to a hot cup of tea to reflect on all the rainbows in my clouds. I was in a dark cloud for a moment.... but the rainbow appeared.
Today I am going to pick up my dear grandson, Dylan, we are going to see Christian and then meeting up with Adriane and Chris to go see "The Preservation" at Gruene Hall. They don't know it yet, but we are going to create rainbows. I have been watching my son go through the biggest, darkest clouds of his life and I have to say, he is moving through those clouds with flying colors.
I just want my family to know how very blessed I feel and I count you as my rainbows.
I love you very, very much. I pray that I am a rainbow in your life.