Friday, February 27, 2026

Ancestral Trauma Healing

 For centuries people have been captivated by genealogy, tracing their ancestors through historical records for various reasons. In recent years, DNA tests have taken genealogy to a whole new level. 


About 16 years ago, my brother Phillip was the first in my family to take a DNA test. He was interested in finding out if we had Sephardic Jewish ancestry. Unfortunately, at the time the $99 DNA test he took only supplied information on our father’s side of the family. A year later I had a DNA test done by Ancestry.com. By that time the average DNA test provided both paternal and maternal DNA information. In the beginning my interest was in healing generational trauma because I saw a pattern repeating in my life involving the loss of real estate that I couldn't logically explain. Since my DNA is mostly Spanish, I starting overthinking it and taking on the responsibility of the misplaced Jews who lost their homes during the Spanish Inquisition and the misplaced Native Americans due to the conquistadors who conquered America. But then I realized I am 43% Spanish, 20% Native American, 10% Sephardic Jew and a 27% mixture of a whole bunch of other stuff. 

I then discovered the study of epigenetics and found that we can carry our ancestors' trauma through epigenetic inheritance, meaning stress impacts gene expression, turning genes "on" or "off" without changing the DNA sequence itself. This affects our descendants' stress responses, mental health and behaviors. "Intergenerational transmission of trauma" means past traumatic experiences like war or loss can leave biological marks, influencing the hormonal systems and brain function in future generations, leading to heightened anxiety or depression. While these marks exist, healing is possible through therapy, and acknowledging family history to prevent passing on these chains.

As time went on, I realized that the impact of my family's DNA did have an impact that aligned with Phillip's interest in discovering his Sephardic Jewish ancestry, but maybe not the way he thought it did. He passed away September 4, 2026 and in our last personal conversation, he said he wanted to get an updated DNA test. I wish he could have for so many reasons. Phillip was the only immediate family member who read my blog regularly and I miss his commentary immensely. There were times when he and I had long phone conversations about spirituality and quantum physics in the same conversation. In the last few years of his life he didn't get to spend time with the Fajardos. There were unspoken moments when I knew we didn't see eye to eye on religion & politics so we just left well enough alone. It seemed almost poetic that my research had taken me back to the 13th century Spain when the Fajardo Army of southern Spain, described as a prominent, elite lineage had consolidated their forces with the Catholic Monarchs, Ferdinand and Isabella to take over all of Spain during the Spanish Inquisition. Tstatutes, they were among the primary enforcers of these discriminatory Spanish laws that required proof of Christian ancestry "pure blood." These laws were used to exclude Jews, Muslims, or non-Christians from public office and universities. Yet, on the flip side, the surname Fajardo is considered to be of Sephardic Jewish origin due to its historical connection to converso (forced convert) families who fled to New Mexico. It so reminds me of the extremes in current day United States, especially Phillip's immediate family of born again Christian's vs the rest of the Fajardo family. It's a perfect example of how all families throughout the ages have their differences. Some of the Fajardos during the Spanish Inquisition were on the side of the Catholic Monarchs and some were Sephardic Jews. We truly do carry our ancestors' trauma through epigenetic inheritance. 

Phillip had been diagnosed with yet another brain tumor in May 2026. He was having seizures and suffered a severe brain bleed that his hospice nurse confirmed would ultimately take his life. Just now I opened facebook and was reminded that he had a brain tumor removed exactly 16 years ago today.


But there I was in August, just a couple of weeks before he passed away, having our last private conversation. His wife was staring at us across the room. It was then that I realized what an oppressive relationship he had been in for all of these years. 
It had proven to be useless to bring up the topic of my ongoing research into the "Common Hispanic Mutation" (CCM1 - Cerebral Cavernous Malformation) and the fact that it is often misdiagnosed as brain tumors. Phillip's wife was treating him with a hand full of non prescribed drugs and he had already signed Advance Directives saying he didn't want any more medical care. So there I sat with all my years of research about the genetic mutation that's highly prevalent in our New Mexican blood line on both our father and mother's side of the family. His family didn't want to hear that our genetic legacy came from a small group of early Spanish settlers, linked directly to the historical ideology of Limpieza de Sangre (purity of blood) 

During our conversation Phillip said to me "You and I were cut from the same cloth." I smiled and said proudly "Yes, we were." In the back of my mind I was thinking "Yes, with the same genetic disease, caused by our ancestor's fixation on having pure Spanish blood. You know, the same mindset of the right-wing Christian nationalists government who want to keep 'America' white." 

I couldn't save my brother. I strongly believe he is in a better place. When I think of him, I see his healthy, brilliant face in a beautiful field of of mushrooms. 

Phillip Fajardo

The good news is that others do read my blog. I had a doctor from Dallas and one from El Paso who found my blog about 6 years ago. They both asked if I would be interested in taking part in their CCM1 studies. At the time, I was in my mid-sixties and I don't drive long distances, so I refrained, but my research was helpful in tracing some of the people with the CCM1 gene to the Santa Rosa, NM area. I have also been contacted by many distant cousins who have found my blog because they are on the same journey of self discovery through ancestry. When you do a Google search of Puerto de Luna, New Mexico, my blog is the first thing that comes up because it is literally a ghost town now. I discovered much more information than I bargained for when I signed up to become a member of Ancestry.com, thinking I would keep the membership for 3 months. Here it is 15 years later and I have been on a quest that has taken me on an amazing journey through my family's colorful past. Tracing the Fajardo surname back to Spain as far back as the 1200's has been a mind blowing, educational experience.

I started writing about my research for my children and grandchildren because after my parents passed away, I felt like I should have asked more questions. They may be interested in it some day, but meanwhile I am connecting with cool cousins. At the bottom of this post you can click on "see more posts" and it will take you to older posts.

The journey actually began when I was 16 years old, my junior year in high school, when my parents sent me to live with my Grandma Rosita Padilla in Puerto de Luna, New Mexico as a punishment for skipping school. I was having anxiety attacks at school. That all disappeared when I went to Santa Rosa High. I felt seen and heard. I loved my art teacher, Mr Lopez. I felt a deep connection to my ancestors who had been in New Mexico for over 400 years. In the quiet times, alone on the farm, in my grandma's adobe house, that my mother had helped to build and in the chile fields next to the acequia. Or on the weekends when my cousin Percy Padilla and I worked at the small store/gas station in Puerto de Luna  called "Mercado Coronado." The store was next door to what used to be the Grzelachowski General Store, which is is known for having the likes of Billy the Kid as a regular customer in the late 1800's. I felt that I was surrounded by the spirits of my ancestors and there was an underlying feeling that I had been there in the previous century. It all felt oddly familiar. I felt like I was finally home.

I didn't have time to do a deep dive into my past until years later, after my parents had passed away and my children were grown. Building my family tree has been a nightly activity. The historical discovery of my parents home land of New Mexico and the journey of my ancestors from Spain has been truly fascinating.

I've learned that a well-researched family tree typically reaches back to the 17th or 18th century with good parish recordsI've traced my mother's paternal Padilla lineage back to Anton Martin de Padilla who was born in Sevilla, Spain in 1536. I've traced my father's Fajardo lineage back to my 9th Great-Grandfather Jose Miguel Fajardo born in the Canary Islands in 1591. But I can't help but think his family was just traveling through when he was born because his son, my 8th Great-Grandfather Alonso Fajardo was born in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1656

Fajardo Coat of Arms

I haven't found a connection but there was an Alonso Fajardo de Entenza, Governor-General of the Philippines (1618–1624), who was a Spanish nobleman born in Murcia, Spain and he was the son of Admiral Don Luis Fajardo. He was a Knight of the Order of Alcántara. The Fajardos had been sent out to conquer the world and it appears that some ended up in in the Philippines just before the first Fajardos came to New Mexico. They had to be related but I don't know exactly how.

The surname Fajardo originated in the northwestern region of Galicia, Spain. With roots traced to a nobleman, Pedro Anes Galego, Lord of Santa Marta de Ortigueira. He was the progenitor of the Fajardo surname. Fajardo is a Galician/Latin term for a beech wood or tree. Then the Fajardo family emigrated to Murcia in 1296 and became high-ranking officials of the Crown of Castile. 

You can't imagine the mixture of emotions I had when I discovered that the Fajardo family was the most powerful and prestigious noble lineage in the Kingdom of Murcia, Spain rising to prominence from the late 13th century and peaking in influence from the 15th century onwards. The prestigious Spanish noble title held by the Fajardos was Marqués de los Vélez. It was a title that held major influence in the region for centuries and was first granted to Pedro Fajardo y Chaconin 1507. He was a prominent military leader and politician. I just read a blog written in 2022 about  Pedro Fajardo y Chacon's iconic Castillo de Vélez-Blanco, also know as the Castillo de los Fajardo located in the town of Vélez-Blanco, Andalusia, Spain. It is said to be a remarkable example of a Spanish Renaissance Castle and it has been declared a historical-artistic monument belonging to the National Artistic Treasury since 1931.

Castillo de Vélez-Blanco,
also know as the
Castillo de los Fajardo

Read more about the castle here.

The importance of the Fajardo family in the history of the Crown of Castile didn't go unnoticed by great authors of Spanish literature. In the 16th-century the Fajardo family of the Kingdom of Murcia, held immense power making them natural subjects for Spain’s greatest writers. There were satirical plays written for them. Research into Spanish literature highlights connections between the poet Acevedo and members of the Fajardo family, who were involved in administering royal licenses for brothels. Yikes!

With all of that being said, I have known from the start of my ancestry research that the Fajardo and Padilla lineages are only 2 of many of my lineages.Those are just the names I was assigned. I am probably more Chavez, Padilla and Baca than anything else.

In closing, for years I had come across stories of my Spanish ancestors expelling Jews from Spain and conquering the Americas. Ancestral trauma healing involves identifying and releasing emotional, physical and spiritual wounds that have been passed down through the generations. These wounds manifest as unexplained fears and toxic patterns. Healing requires forgiveness. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Ancestral research empowers future generations. I've always felt there has to be a reckoning of accumulated damage done by our ancestors. Being a deep thinking, peace loving healer, I wondered if I had been chosen in my lineage to even up the score. Not as a punishment but to heal the lineage for my family and future generations. Therefore, I have experienced genetic health issues and botched real estate deals to bring it all to my attention. This blog post is just one layer of my personal healing process. 


Monday, January 19, 2026

Phillip's Swan Song Concert

On a subject that nobody likes to talk about... The end of life of loved ones.

The last few months have been very difficult. I am writing this in January of 2026 because I just haven't been able to gather my thoughts until now. My dear brother, Phillip passed away on September 4, 2025. He had a CT scan of his brain in May and was diagnosed with yet another brain tumor. He had been diagnosed 15 years ago with a brain tumor and the neurologist at the time gave him 2 years to live. As Phillip used to say so often, "Doctors practice" medicine." He and I had been diagnosed and misdiagnosed so many times... and here he was again, being diagnosed with yet another "brain tumor." And once again I questioned the diagnoses because I have spent more than 15 years doing ancestral research and genetic research that has led me to believe that both Phillip and I were born with rare genetic disease called Cerebral Cavernous Malformations (CCM) which cause clusters of abnormal, thin-walled blood vessels (cavernomas) in the brain or spinal cord. The vascular malformations lead to altered blood flow and can cause numerous serious issues that are prone to leaking blood, potentially causing seizures, strokes, severe headaches, or neurological deficits like weakness or vision/hearing changes, but most importantly, brain bleeds leading to death. But they are not cancerous. Sounds scary right? Yeah, it is and Phillip and I had suffered from all of the above. CCM isn't a one size fits all kind of disease. While CCMs are often present from birth, they can sometimes show up later in life, or just be asymptomatic for years. When Phillip had his CT scan in May, I knew exactly what was up but the only way to properly diagnose CCMs are with MRIs with dye and genetic testing. Phillip couldn't have a MRI because he had a pacemaker for his genetically defective heart.

For years Phillip and I spent hours talking on the phone about our similar genetic brain and heart issues and symptoms. It was comforting to have someone to talk to about our similar issues. Yet there were also several major differences. I had my first seizure at the age of 15 and he didn't have his until he was about 62 but we used to talk about all of our symptoms we had from a young age that we assumed everyone experienced. And our approach to dealing with our health issues were very different. As I said, I had my first seizure at 15 but I didn't have another until I was pregnant at the age of 25. After I gave birth to my son, I started taking seizure medication. Religiously! Phillip, on the other hand, had a tendency to be a bit of a dare devil. He would take his seizure meds for a while and then he would decide he didn't approve of the western medicine his doctors were prescribing and he would abruptly stop taking his meds. As expected, he would end up having a severe seizure, fall and injure himself. It was an ongoing issue for 15 years. Our heart conditions were rare and different but we were both also diagnosed with aneurysms on our aorta. My cardiologist prescribed 5 meds and told me about 12 years ago to expect that my aneurysm would grow 1 cm annually and I would probably have to have open heart surgery to repair it by the time I reached my mid 60's. My doctors have been surprised over the years to see that it has grown very little. I am now 70. Phillip on the other hand, had to have his whole aorta replaced because his aneurysm got dangerously large. Again, because he wasn't taking his meds.

So over the years, I have grown accustomed to taking 6 meds daily RELIGIOUSLY and I spend lots of time doing research. The most important research being that of our ancestors. I am attaching a couple of websites with information.

https://www.alliancetocure.org/home/cavernous-angioma-in-depth/genetics/founder-mutations/ccm1-common-hispanic/

https://bacafamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/combinedgenealogyccm1newmexico-5.12.20-finalpdf.pdf

I tried to share this information with Phillip and his family many times but it fell on deaf ears.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that most of my family members were not familiar with the volunteer work I have done with Swan Songs - Austin over the past 20 years. It all began when my dear friend, Christine Albert was asked to sing for a friend who was at the end of life in 2005. The honor of being invited to sing at this powerful moment in someone's life was humbling and inspiring to her. So the idea was born to create an organization to act as a liaison between the healthcare and music communities, hence the non-profit "Swan Songs-Austin" was created. These intimate "musical last wishes" concerts are a blessing to both the family and the musicians. A favorite style of music is brought directly to the home or care facility and an intimate concert is held at no cost to the family. Committed to supporting live music in the community, "Swan Songs-Austin" compensates the musicians for each performance. I personally have donated a large painting to be sold at each annual "Swan Songs" fund raiser for many years and have created many slide shows for the event. "Swan Songs-Austin" is celebrating 20 years this year and has been such a blessing to our community.







From L-R - Craig Bentley, Jerry Don Motely, Sam Bentley, Debra Watson, Nathan Fajardo, Lynn Daniel, Christina Fajardo, Phillip Fajardo, Howard Kalish, Derek Hatley, Adriane Ethridge, and Nita Fajardo


 There are no words to express the feelings I have had recently with both my brother Phillip Fajardo and my friend Chris Gage in Hospice. Yesterday was a pivotal moment. Chris left the building and Phillip had a very rough night due to a brain bleed. Today it was hard to even move off of the couch. I found these photos from 15 years ago when we had a benefit for Phillip, the first time he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The photos display how the Austin music community always come together for each other, offering pure love, light and the healing sound of music. Just remember we are all on this journey together. I'm sending so much love to everyone

August 18, 2025

We had an amazing Swan Songs concert for Phillip in Round Round. Thank you Karen McElhatten, Howard Kalish, and Nita Fajardo for helping me pull this beautiful musical event together for our beloved brother. Thank you Adriane Ethridge for driving me half way to meet Nita on the journey. I love you all!

August 25, 2025

There are no words to express the feelings I have had recently with both my brother Phillip Fajardo and my friend Chris Gage in Hospice. Yesterday was a pivotal moment. Chris passed away and Phillip had a very rough night due to another dreaded brain bleed. Today it was hard to even move off of the couch. I found these photos from 15 years ago when we had a benefit for Phillip, the first time he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The photos display how the Austin music community always come together for each other, offering pure love, light and the healing sound of music. Just remember we are all on this journey together. I'm sending so much love to everyone.

There are no words to express the feelings I have had recently with both my brother Phillip Fajardo and my friend Chris Gage in Hospice. Yesterday was a pivotal moment. Chris left the building and Phillip had a very rough night due to a brain bleed. Today it was hard to even move off of the couch. I found these photos from 15 years ago when we had a benefit for Phillip, the first time he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The photos display how the Austin music community always come together for each other, offering pure love, light and the healing sound of music. Just remember we are all on this journey together. I'm sending so much love to everyone.There are no words to express the feelings I have had recently with both my brother Phillip Fajardo and my friend Chris Gage in Hospice. Yesterday was a pivotal moment. Chris left the building and Phillip had a very rough night due to a brain bleed. Today it was hard to even move off of the couch. I found these photos from 15 years ago when we had a benefit for Phillip, the first time he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The photos display how the Austin music community always come together for each other, offering pure love, light and the healing sound of music. Just remember we are all on this journey together. I'm sending so much love to everyone. 
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