The Secret

The amazing synchronicities that take place in my life serve as constant reminders that we must always trust our path, everything happens just as it is meant to. I have an amazing story about "The Secret" that took place over an almost five year period and involves people in different areas of my life.

Almost five years ago, in March, I was ready for a change in my life. I put my lake house on the market, it sold to the first real estate agent that looked at it. I was trying to gracefully walk away from a job at the newspaper that I had for 15 years and still be able to pay my bills. Magically, they offered me a package and I was able to begin my dream life as a freelance artist. As if selling my house and quieting my 8-5 job weren't enough for bitter sweet endings, in May my relationship with Dan ended and my 12 year old cat, Layla died. As we do when we go through life changes, I was searching for answers to all of life's questions.

My garage apartment in Spicewood

Simultaneously, my friend George, who had rented my garage apartment for a couple of years was also going through life changes. We both picked up the book "The Secret," I saw the movie and I went so far as to get "The Secret" on CD and went to sleep listening to it every night. In October, I took a trip to  Hawaii and read it every day on the beach. I was bound and determined to call forth the highest good for my life when I returned home to Austin.

When I returned to Austin, I was staying with my sister, Nita for a short while. She and I had been at out friend Lana's southwest of Austin. It must have been November by this time. We ran into George entering the electric gate as we were leaving. He was ecstatic, he had magically gone from driving a truck to purchasing a Mercedes that he converted to bio-diesel, he had a new lap-top computer and a lap dog. I jokingly said to him "Now all you need is a lap dance George, what the heck happened?"  He reminded me that he had been reading "The Secret" and guess what, not long after that, he located a high school sweetheart on facebook and they got married!

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Lana had been urging me to stay away from musicians and "fish from another pond." This coming from the lady who is on the road with Willie 300 days a year. Of course she would say that! I argued that my most recent failed relationship was with research analyst at the University of Texas and I realized that MY pattern was to attract emotional unavailable men whether it be with a doctor, research analyst or musician. It was as if her warning had come from my mother and I took it as a dare to find a musician. She ended the conversation just as a mother would "Fine. date a musician, but only if he has his own band, owns a house and drives a nice car."

About a month later we were having a "Hormone Weekend" at Lana's and all the girls were spending the weekend at the ranch. We went to a party at my friend Pam's house. Lana went home early. Bored. Too many musicians I suppose. I stayed and Wahlah! like magic, that night I manifested exactly what I had envisioned. A musician who, like a gentleman, walked me to my car and kissed me good night. Wish granted! As I drove out 290 West to the ranch, with his business card in hand, I felt like a cat bringing home a mouse to show my girlfriends. On our first date he walked in my house and saw a painting I had been working on that day and with a surprised look on his face he said "I will be right back." He went to his car and got a copy of his CD. The painting I was working on looked exactly like the front of his CD cover.

For about a year I was totally amazed that "The Secret" had worked such magic in my life. Endless nights out on the town being wined and dined, listening to great music and dancing. Then reality started to sink in when on occasion we had dinner with married friends who talked of plans they were making together. Gardening, house repairs, vacations. I too had big plans swimming around in my head yet he would sit there never saying a word. It slowly started to sink in, I had been granted exactly what I had asked for, nothing more. A musician with his own band, a house and a car. He had no intention of settling down and was just along for the ride. Our relationship lasted exactly 4 years. I had one year of total ignorant bliss, two years of thinking I could change it and one more year knowing it would never change but still hoped I could live that way.  I had fallen for his well practiced facade. Yes, he had his own band but the band members change constantly because of his lack of loyalty. To anyone. He owns a house but it's not a home because he shares it with no one. Nights out on the town and brunch in the morning was all he had to offer.

George, Victoria and Christina

Now here is where the story gets interesting. This March I attended a birthday party at the ranch for Bella, Lana and her ex-husband George's grand daughter. George was feeling a little unsettled, his sister had passed away unexpectedly the night before and so he was thinking about what she could have done differently to avoid her depression. He reminded me of when we had run into each other at the gate at the ranch more than four years earlier and spoke of reading "The Secret" and he was so grateful that he had gotten exactly what he had asked for, including his wife, Vicki. And Vicki spoke of how grateful she was to find George because she had been in an off and on relationship since high school with a narcissist. "Well that really sucks!" I said "I read 'The Secret' and ended up with a narcissist. WTF? I realized I needed to go back and read the book again because obviously I missed something!" I came home that evening and looked through all my self-help books and couldn't find it and gave up and went to bed.

Michael, Kate, Christina, René and Carole

Two months went by, the second week in May Kate and I were celebrating our birthdays all week so we took a trip to  Fredericksburg with Carole, Rene and Kate's Aunt Michael. After a full day of shopping in all the expensive little boutiques and eating German food, René wanted to stop at the Goodwill on the way out of town. As we shopped she mentioned that the best Goodwill was close to her house on Brodie Lane but as she was out running errands a couple of weeks ago, she went to one in east Austin. She had gotten a really good deal on some books.

That night after we returned from Fredericksburg, René decided to read one of the books that she had purchased at the Goodwill, a copy of "The Secret." When she bought it she noticed a Joe Ely backstage pass on the inside front cover and thought how cool it was that the previous owner it liked the same music she did. When she opened the book in bed a boarding pass from Honolulu, Hawaii to Austin fell out. On the boarding pass she read "Christina Fajardo" and then a baggage claim pass fell out that said "Christina Fajardo." She yelled out "Oh My God!" Danny, with a toothbrush in his mouth comes around the corner and says "What's wrong?" She said "I have to call Christina!" It was 11 pm. She called me immediately. I was talking to Sarah Elizabeth on the phone and said "Something must be wrong, I will call you back, René is calling." When she told me, I was in shock I kept saying "But René, I don't even know how my copy of "The Secret" got to Goodwill. I never would have gotten rid of that book!" It wasn't until the next day when I told my sister, Nita the story and she suggested that I left it at Tony's and he took it to Goodwill. Well, doesn't that makes it that much more magical that my copy of "The Secret" found it's way back to me?

Listen To The Whispers "Luna Chick"

René is still reading the book so I rented the movie on iTunes yesterday. In case you have been living under a rock and haven't read "The Secret," here's the premise. The secret teaches the law of attraction. This law states that whatever we focus our attention on is attracted to us. Our thoughts and feelings create our reality. When we consciously direct our thoughts and feelings toward the positive goals we want to achieve, we send forth a message to the universal consciousness and attract the results we concentrate on. Thoughts become things. We are constantly emitting energy that attracts what we are, not what we want.

Really? WHY with all my self examination, reading every self help book on the market, watching Oprah every day, would I attract painfully, dysfunctional relationships? I know that most of the time we enter relationships for one reason and we usually end up learning something totally unexpected. I have to admit I did manifest exactly what I asked for, as shallow as that wish was. Silly me. I assumed that just because someone has their own band, a car and a house that they worked for it would know the value of team work and integrity. After all, I had worked hard to become a freelance artist and I worked hard to own all of the houses and cars that I have had in my 50 some odd years. Even Willie, my hero had been a pig farmer.

May 20 eclipse in Santa Rosa New Mexico

The New Moon and Solar Eclipse that are occurring today marks the beginning of a new cycle that can carry our desires and intentions into manifestation. Until now I was scared to ask because I was afraid of what I would manifest .... but here goes. I'll let ya know later how it all turns out!

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A-Ha!

Thanks for asking the waiter to take this photo Jess!

Saturday I met with 7 of my artist friends for drinks and dinner on Congress Avenue and talked shop. We are taking a needed two week break in my "Soul Sessions" class to process some of the information that has thrown a few of us for a loop. Big life changes are shaking things up a bit and calling for us to take notice and make decisions about our lives. I felt right at home with a table full of creative souls that are following their soul's path. It seems that some of us are shedding old skin and starting anew. I came home feeling energized! Then I stayed up until 2 am talking to Martha on the phone about creating our personal life improvements while simultaneously painting a commissioned "Red Guitar" painting. I love my life! I felt so stuck even a week ago. Now I feel like I am moving at lightening speed.  I am grateful.  Every day I am noticing more synchronicity. Really taking notice that when I am in a negative head space, I feel stuck and as soon as I decide to move out of the negativity, the energy starts to move. I get orders online or phone calls requesting art commissions. I am finding different strategies to move out of the negative. Sometimes all it takes is turning on some music and painting sometimes it is going to the gym.... whatever.... it is all working!

"Miracles appear in the strangest of places." ~ Willie Nelson

I spent the night at my brother's house the other night, helping my sister-in-law design labels for her skin care products and it seems that they are on the same path, taking a classes that are teaching some of the same things I am learning. I got a list of reading material from them on things like quantum alignment.... hummmm....

A couple of days ago Kelly Rae and Beth posted some of our A-Ha Moments on the "Soul Sessions" class website. Here is mine, in case you aren't reading the posts on the website or if you aren't a part of the class.

I am always amazed at how the Universe works. On Monday Jan. 16, this e-course began and like clock work the next day my long term relationship ended. Forever. No going back. It has been so hard to stay in the moment and do the work through the tears. Every time I tried to listen to the “WHO” lesson I would have to go take a bath and cry because all I could think of was that my “WHO” just walked out the door!  This morning I made a breakthrough listening to Melody Ross say“Nice girls are the target for narcissistic people.”

A light bulb came on! I was able to put together what she was saying and the words that my therapist told me last week. I told her that I had just repeated a pattern in my relationship and she asked how it made me feel. Of course she did, she is a therapist. I said “It made me feel that I am not enough.” She then said “Instead of feeling like you aren’t enough, have you ever thought that maybe they aren’t enough? Think about it. You were just saying that you tried to help raise his frequency to match yours. He wasn’t able to keep up.”

So, not only do we have a choice as to WHO we associate with on every level but it is important to our success to stand firm in only associating with those people that are on the same frequency as we are on. It is an important choice and sometimes a very hard one when you care about someone who isn’t ready to commit to themselves and commit to making positive changes, yet still complains that their life just isn’t working. Or maybe not even complaining because they don’t even see how much better it can be. You just have to walk away. I now know it is okay to say “No, this isn’t going to work for me.”

Until just recently, I believed that everyone can change with just a little love and support. Now I know there isn’t enough love on the planet to change someone who isn’t ready to change. Now I can stop dreaming, wishing, hoping and wanting and just go ahead and fly! Huge lesson! I don’t have to fix anyone no matter what kind of “potential” I see in them. All I can do is offer up the information and if it isn’t taken, walk on and don’t look back. This all goes back to what I learned on “Oprah’s Life Class. “When someone tells you who they are, listen!”

Note To Self: If you feel like you are soaring in your life, continue to soar, don’t look back. Don’t try to carry the load for someone who isn’t willing to do the work. You will find yourself crying on your knees asking yourself what you did wrong. You did nothing wrong. They were not up to the task. Move On!