Sunday, February 19, 2012

Creating a Life With Depth and Color

I am starting my second year of being a more inspiring, prosperous artist. For the past month, I have been working on my Who, Why and What of my art business and even though it hasn't been easy, I have found that is has been an organic process for me.

Rene's Red Guitar
The mixed media on canvas phase of my art business started 4 years ago when I painted a "Red Guitar" for my friends Danny and Rene. I loved it so much that I just kept painting red guitars. Within a month I manifested a guitar playing boyfriend. (Be careful what you paint, you will manifest it!) Now I paint them because they inspire those that like music and  I have added other instruments to the series.

Last year I started painting my "Luna Chick" series. The paintings of young melancholy girls came from a deep emotional place that needed to be healed within me. I realized, after I saw the response,  realizing that many people have that inner child that needs healing. I have been told that my Luna Chicks seem to look into their soul and heal them. I have had so many people tell me that they are touch by them on a deep level and that they are very inspiring and empowering and end up buying one because they feel like they just can't live without it. Especially women. They felt that the positive affirmations hanging on the wall would create positive change.  I am familiar with that feeling. When I find music that touches me, I can listen to it for hours. I am now certain that the true purpose of my art is to reach out to people and inspire and encourage them. We teach what we most need to learn and so of course my own sense of inspiration and courage has been tested on the deepest level along the way.

As of a month ago I was still trying to figure out a relationship with someone who thinks I am too sensitive. I finally had to walk away, knowing that being intuitive and sensitive is just who I am. My sensitivity isn't a problem for me fortunately because I couldn't change it if I wanted to. I see it as a gift. I do see how it could be very much a problem for someone who doesn't engage on an emotional level, has a hard time with honesty and reading social cues. I spent a lot of time in that relationship analyzing and trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed. I had that a -ha moment 3 years ago when I had coffee with my friend Mo. She offered up some critical information that has helped me with all of my personal relationships. She was talking about her brother who had a string of failed relationships, a son that he wasn't close to and the inability to feel love and emotions on the level that the rest of us do. She told me he had Asperger's Syndrome. I spent that evening researching it on the internet. I came to the conclusion that it isn't a syndrome at all and in fact we are all just wired a little differently and there are varying degrees of that which would be considered to be on the OCD, ADHD, Asperger's and Autism spectrum. This realization changed my life. I now take notice when someone is uncomfortable in social situations or is just very picky about odd things. With this knowledge it is easier for me not to judge those that are just wired differently and I don't take it personally when they don't recognize me, when they are standoffish or aren't good at reading social cues. In fact, that is when I am most thankful for my overly sensitive nature. I rely on my sensitivity and intuition in social situations and I am courageous enough to allow my vulnerabilities to show and encourage others to do the same. I speak my truth verbally and through my art. I believe that each experience is right on time teaching us the lesson that is important for our self growth.

My life experiences haven't been easy because I do wear my heart on my sleeve but it has lead me to living a life with depth and color. I have sacrificed so much to live in this place. Most recently, a relationship with a man that I loved deeply who just doesn't get me.

Here is to living my life in truth, passion, depth in full color!

3 comments:

  1. This is so lovely and brave Christina! I saw your link on Facebook and came over to tell you I love your red guitar and it looks so like a Picasso work. But I stayed because your words are so authentic and real. I too am "sensitive" and "hard to live with", but I can't think of a better way to live! I think of it as adding extra color to a rather drab world. Sensitive people unite!

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    1. Thank you LindaKay. Living my truth hasn't always been easy but it is the only way I know how to be! Sensitive people unite!

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  2. Love this post! Happy for you Christina, and embracing your truth. I am trying to do the same in my own life.

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